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SilverScreams999

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BMP

1 min read
You're gone now
And I'm as mad as can possibly be
I hate what you made me be
All the scars that will take years to fade
I hate everything about you
All of your lies
and your push to my death
because thats how much to you didn't want me
The girl you knew is dead.
Someone else had to grown in her place
She's a jumbled mess.
Already in love with another,
but reflections of you keep appearing
I don't want to be her again
I don't want to cut or burn or be so consumed by depression
Not again.
There's so much hate remaining 
both for you and they girl you killed.
I want to move on from this pain
I don't want these shadows
I don't want a heart cast with pain.
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I don't know what you expect from me
or why I still stay with you
I run from you in my dreams
My heart seems to break everyday
My depression just keeps pulling at me
I can't make you happy
I can't make me happy.
Everything is overwhelming
Everything seems wrong
Where did my passions go?
The antidepressants aren't helping anymore
I'm scared of what can be
I know the tears you shed
I wonder if they were real
and if you would shed them again
Guilt claws at me of the things you don't know
There's no rescue
And I'm slowly falling below
Those tears may have to spill
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Unseen pain

1 min read
Quiet.
I hide it well,
with no indication
that there was
something fracturing inside.
Not that you'd pay attention
to whatever hint 
that I held no control over.
Dying eyes, limper hair,
a faint paleness.
I'm not one to share my secrets.
Even if my pain is one.



dear lord I haven't written in a long time! I need to start practicing again!
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If I do.......

1 min read
If I ever do get a tattoo, it's going to be in black light ink and I'm never going to tell anyone about it.
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I have many reoccurring dreams, keep in mind that majority of the people in my dreams have blurred faces, and I swear that I'm in love with every partner I am with in each of them. I only forget that I am cuz, you know, their dreams and you can't remember them much once you're awake.
But every time I have these dreams, I remember my love for them. And it's the type of love that overflows, like where I'm only looking at them and I'm swelling with joy. Somehow I always know my time is limited with them so I try to be as into the dream as possible, no matter what happens since most of them turn into nightmares.
I've never tried to change anything in my dreams because I still have that hope that everything will be okay because of our love for each other is so deep and profound. It's like I know that he'll, someday, be the one that changes the outcome of the dream. And when the dream ends, or I've woken up before it ends, I'm close to tears, in some cases I've actually cried, all because I feel like I've lost them yet again, never to know if or when I'll dream of them next.
Ah, in case some of you wondered, I did have one of my dreams be different. It was once that I had a couple of time when I was younger, and the dream had showed us older, but I didn't realize who he was till I had a flash back memory of the old dream. I ran to him, throwimg my arms around him, crying because I had forgotten the memory/dream, crying that I had gone so long without him that I forgot about him completely and couldn't recognize him. I can't remember much more after that.
Have any of you had dreams like that?
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Featured

BMP by SilverScreams999, journal

just a quick one by SilverScreams999, journal

Unseen pain by SilverScreams999, journal

If I do....... by SilverScreams999, journal

Reoccurring Dreams by SilverScreams999, journal